Thursday, September 24, 2009

famosfreddy: relocation

famosfreddy: relocation


Folks, I've moved. Get all the sweet stuff here now:

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Tune Blues

Today I’ll start on a good note and probably end on a bad one. Yes, I can see the future and none of you will be in it unless you promise to read this blog for as long as it exists. And when I start my feed the freddy fund, y’all better donate!

So this weekend, my heart had a smile on it. I’ll tell you why. I witnessed the makings of a real movie industry and it’s wedged on the support of Sparrow Productions. For real guys, we are now starting our industry of professional moviemakers, scriptwriters, actors (with passion), video and sound editors “etetera, etetera, etetera”. Not a typo.

The movie was great and all the actors were fab! Only person whose acting required some tweaking was Kwami Sefa-Kayi and we can’t fault the brother so much. It’s been almost a decade since the man took a couple of takes on set. That aside, the movie was superb. Lydia Forson is the BOMB!!! Y'all should make sure you check it out. In more layman terms, “I urge my fellow Ghanaians to encourage Sparrow by going out watch it. I further urge you to buy copies of the DVD when it comes out!” Seriously guys, “I urge you”.

On the bad note I promised a few seconds ago, and I truly mean note, I can still hear the off key ringing of Piper’s rendition of Cool & the Gang’s “Celebration” resounding in my head! Have these guys learnt nothing so far? Wondering what I’m talking about? It is the ever spew-inspiring show on TV3 that I could never get used to; the show they all call GangStarz. Mentor grew on me after a while; Ghana’s Most Beautiful was acceptable. But GangStarz has been most unbearable.
Vashti, the co-host, has in no way improved on her game since start of the show 12 weeks ago. Someone please tell her to get her enunciation right! G-girls also were off to a false start when they couldn't mouth the words to Mary J. Blige's “Be Without You”. Taking the show to Bus Stop doesn't take out the crass out of the show. It's still what it is. Blaze, by all measure was the only outstanding gang in the game. They rendered Asem's Gimme Blow real well. But certainly they can copy the cat but can they be cats on their own?

At that point, I had to switch and so glad that I did. I caught the middle bit of Jacob’s Cross on TV Africa. Now TVA may not have gotten all, in fact, many moves right since the start of the station, but I can promise you that Jacob’s Cross is one of their top moves. It’s a great show by the very high standards I’ve set and it’s no wonder most Ghanaians are NOT glued to their TV sets trying to catch it on Sunday evenings. I think it goes above the threshold of their tele novella-ed minds.

Yes. Yes, evil me.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Mimi, mice and lies

Mimi's back from the big brother house. Yay! Another one. YAY!!!
Never in the 3 installments of Big Brother Africa has the country been put on tenterhooks as under this Mimi Andani tyranny. She's been the most criticised housemate Ghana has ever put out into the already controversial reality show. From lies to gossips to half truths, Mimi seemed to have had 'all it took' to take the cake. Perhaps she had a little too much of it. Ms Chemist? Or is it just a title?

Does she know anything about our educational system or was her cluelessness all a part of the act? Hard to tell. At first glance, Mimi comes out as one with an imposing personality. An extremist in certain cases. She speaks her mind and often, that of others. Don't forget also, that her mind didn't always chew on the right things. So as her mouth spoke, it brought out the not so cogent thoughts her mind had come up with. But let's give her a break. This is a typical example of the average Mapouka dancing Ghanaian girl! The average Ghanaian girl, Mimi inclusive, is fully entertained and half-educated. So sue me! I said it. Yes I’ve said it. I do not tell a lie when I say that our ladies have been shortchanged when it comes to education and its effect is beginning to tell on our faces.

Did I hear someone yell 'Girl Child Education'? Tell me what difference is it making in the lives of the young ladies after school? Very few of them get the chance to misrepresent our motherland in a continental reality show, get dumped by her boyfriend, and straight into the arms of a not so bright star by name Cap. Planet! The rest will end up married and become bearers of babies while the husband goes of on his manly duties. The other quarter of the cake end up as professional spinsters or divorcees, because the man couldn't keep up with her intelligence. It's happening all around us.

Don't act like you didn't know.

But Mimi why? Why did you have to go and lie that you're from the 5th best school in the world i.e. Cape Coast University?! Please, great as UCC might be, how can it place 5 in the entire world? On Mimi’s list of top 5 schools, we have Princeton, Yale, UCLA, Stanford and the University of Cape Coast, Ghana. No mention of NYU, or even from the land of our colonial masters, Oxford University, Cambridge etc. Nope. UCC is high up there.

Again, Mimi, if you don't know the duration of a Master's programme in Ghana don't improvise! 3 years for a Masters degree? Maybe Law and even with that. Now you've got the whole Africa believing in a lie. That is, if they even believe you, Miss Little princess from the royal family, you can't do that to us, you just can't! My, we all may have royal blood running through us. The question is how significant is it?
But I’ll say no more. Did anyone hear them say she’s done Ghana proud? No no no no. She surely hasn’t and Ghanaians know this. Maybe she’s done herself proud as against she’s moving into our movie industry. Too much for her!

Welcome back home Mimi. We’re ever so glad you’re back. Had you kept any longer in the house, I might have had to renounce your Ghanaian citizenship. But I guess the damage is repairable.

All that said, I will continue to be your one and only, indefatigable, famosfreddy, the Couch Master!


Monday, October 20, 2008

a mental battle

i am confused in my mind
that is why i pretend to bring sanity to yours
my brain is full of bumps and turns
stop signs and u-turns with grade separated intersections leading to nowhere

visions perceived by the iris and signals sent to the medula oblongata
at frequencies beyond imagination
veins and vessels engineering themselves but only resulting in confusion upstairs
blurred conceptualization of hope buried deep in our hearts

wrong says he's right and right doesn't know where to belong
no has no say and yes is about to make up it's mind
wrong did no harm and right just walked on by
no doesn't make it right and neither does yes
and wrong has taken over,
now right is left ... left behind
upsetting the state of mind
soon we'll have to deal with collateral damage between the two
what's to be done?
what is to be?

thoughts racing past each other creating processes
faster than a pentium m could comprehend
a complete battalion of brain soldiers
recruited for the sole purpose of creating actions out of thoughts
eyes shut, concentration deeper, distraction minimal, forehead creases

a mental battle

reasons for being clashes with facts of reality
mental faculties struggling with torrents of thoughts rushing in
undigested information churning through the matters of grey
subliminal thoughts lining my consciousness and affecting judgment
previews of the future's aspirations and
reviews of past blunders and errors with occasional bursts of success sparsely distributed

i've lost my sense of direction, lost function of all my sensory organs as
choices beget even more choices
decisions precipitate consequences
blind visions from my mind's eye
quiet sounds of long speeches in my head
words, sentences, phrases, paragraphs and chapters
are written as i soliloquize
emotions draw on my face as my thoughts reach a crescendo...

and this is before breakfast!!!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Operation My A$$

So the other day I was coming home from work. As usual, there was a traffic jam coming in from Accra Girls down to the 37 Military Hospital area. Bumper to bonnet: steadily descending the hill. I've spent a few decades in this universe and I am yet to meet a person that enjoys sitting in traffic. Everybody hates it. Especially...everybody. But we don't always have the power to convert a one carriageway into dual carriage. Nor do we want to dole out 30 plus cedis to the next corrupt 'koti'(police officer). Or, for the bold & brave, argue out why we had to drive on the shoulder of the road and cite a million and one reasons why it's a matter of life and death.

So we sit in our cars, cuss, bully our way in front sometimes, decide which lane is moving faster, join it, only to realise the other lane was faster after all. Then we prevent others from crossing over into our lane and so on and so as it goes forth.

Very often, in the glum of our car seats, we hear the constant honking of private cars and sometimes taxis. They speed past and we oft find ourselves steering aside to make room for them. When that brief moment of excitement dies down, we wonder if there really was an emergency or the emergency lies in the fact that they wish to skip traffic. Who doesn't? When it comes to the police and other law enforcing agencies, dare we question their authority? A police vehicle will go as far as they think is tolerable (for them in traffic). When that elastic limit is reached, they simply turn on their sirens and drive around poor civilian cars like ours. One time I found the nerve to query them through the safety of my window of course. I waved my fore finger at them in disapproval and said in the most Ghanaian accent I could gather 'Ei policeman'. He asked me why, with a wring of his wrist- very typical of Ghanaians- being full aware of what he'd done. He replied in a thick Ga accent: this is police operation car, I can pass anywhere.' Traffic moved on and there was a break in transmission. Then calmly, yet eagerly I retorted, 'are you on operation now?' He frantically searched his head for an apt response, he shouted back through his cracked window: ', anytime I'm on operation'. That was the last I saw of him.

"Operation my a$$!" I wish I had the nerve to tell him that in the face, but my mummy told me to be polite. Plus, I didn't feel like spending my weekend in a jail cell. Of course, it might improve my street cred, but I'd rather not do that, thank you very much.

'Small power man get see what he dey take do.' Who can fault them? They abide by one set of rules and people like you and I abide by a different set, perhaps even a subset of those same rules. Who in his right mind would dare to question the acts of a uniformed man? I beg oh, I like my life as it is. That's the attitude most of us will adopt in instances as this. Someday, just one day, I promise I will make sure everyone stays in their right position and not cross the border, otherwise, as we say "they'll smell pepper!" (after I've coated their faces with it)

Maybe next time, I'll be bold enough to get out of my car, stop them and ask them to prove to me that they really are on "operation". Maybe I'll just stay in my car and forget about them all...

Saturday, September 27, 2008


It's 3am this Saturday dawn, I'm awake once again 'cos my mind won't go to sleep. My body feels the exhaustion of the week, but my brain wants more. I'm trying real hard to drown out these many voices that seem so loud in the quiet of the night. Louder, even than the cock crowing (who owns these chickens anyway?). I'm tempted to muffle these hyperactive thoughts with a fridge raid although I know I'll be afraid to stand on the scale in the morning.

My body wishes to forget about the week's happenings, but my brain, adamant in it pursuit, wants to subject every little detail to scrutiny. It is anxiety mixed with regret and topped with relief in many instances. Somehow, my brain needs to settle with itself before it can project its might toward the incoming week. Yes, I agree, annoying. But my head won't rest lest it comes to terms with itself! Forget about being in control. When my mind wants something done, everything else must settle for a back seat position - even me. Sleep, in this instance will have no say in the matter.

Allowing myself to get carried away in the wave of thoughts dancing in my head, I can't but agree with myself that this has been no ordinary week. My life received some altering nudges that will ultimately lead to a complete redirection. Although I was seemingly able to brush it off into the recess of the memory, sleep returned it to the fore so I could deal with it. I agree that I may not be the world's best philosopher, but I do believe nonetheless that I deserve some credit for stringing enough thoughts per minute that provoke and punch holes in my life and that which affects me on the daily.

So at this I've shifted from point D to E. I'm asking myself now, before I sink in too deep, is this what I want? Do I truly want to sign up for this? Am I ready enough to deal? Do I wish to proceed with the opening up of Pandora's box or would I rather settle for something even keel? My life is about to change in ways hitherto only imagined. I'm loving the thought of it now but will my sentiments then, jigsaw with my fears? Or will it be all I imagined it'll be? Choice begets even more choices.

Inasmuch as the 'should've known' principle sneers at you from all corners of the debate, 'experience' alone must afford you the chance to sneer right back. Because no matter how bad you "should've known" will scoff, experience will always stand its ground and will be sure to inform the decision of tomorrow. My head can go to rest now because strangely through these mumbled up thoughts I've made some sort of alternate sense to myself.