Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Tune Blues

Today I’ll start on a good note and probably end on a bad one. Yes, I can see the future and none of you will be in it unless you promise to read this blog for as long as it exists. And when I start my feed the freddy fund, y’all better donate!

So this weekend, my heart had a smile on it. I’ll tell you why. I witnessed the makings of a real movie industry and it’s wedged on the support of Sparrow Productions. For real guys, we are now starting our industry of professional moviemakers, scriptwriters, actors (with passion), video and sound editors “etetera, etetera, etetera”. Not a typo.

The movie was great and all the actors were fab! Only person whose acting required some tweaking was Kwami Sefa-Kayi and we can’t fault the brother so much. It’s been almost a decade since the man took a couple of takes on set. That aside, the movie was superb. Lydia Forson is the BOMB!!! Y'all should make sure you check it out. In more layman terms, “I urge my fellow Ghanaians to encourage Sparrow by going out watch it. I further urge you to buy copies of the DVD when it comes out!” Seriously guys, “I urge you”.

On the bad note I promised a few seconds ago, and I truly mean note, I can still hear the off key ringing of Piper’s rendition of Cool & the Gang’s “Celebration” resounding in my head! Have these guys learnt nothing so far? Wondering what I’m talking about? It is the ever spew-inspiring show on TV3 that I could never get used to; the show they all call GangStarz. Mentor grew on me after a while; Ghana’s Most Beautiful was acceptable. But GangStarz has been most unbearable.
Vashti, the co-host, has in no way improved on her game since start of the show 12 weeks ago. Someone please tell her to get her enunciation right! G-girls also were off to a false start when they couldn't mouth the words to Mary J. Blige's “Be Without You”. Taking the show to Bus Stop doesn't take out the crass out of the show. It's still what it is. Blaze, by all measure was the only outstanding gang in the game. They rendered Asem's Gimme Blow real well. But certainly they can copy the cat but can they be cats on their own?

At that point, I had to switch and so glad that I did. I caught the middle bit of Jacob’s Cross on TV Africa. Now TVA may not have gotten all, in fact, many moves right since the start of the station, but I can promise you that Jacob’s Cross is one of their top moves. It’s a great show by the very high standards I’ve set and it’s no wonder most Ghanaians are NOT glued to their TV sets trying to catch it on Sunday evenings. I think it goes above the threshold of their tele novella-ed minds.

Yes. Yes, evil me.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Mimi, mice and lies

Mimi's back from the big brother house. Yay! Another one. YAY!!!
Never in the 3 installments of Big Brother Africa has the country been put on tenterhooks as under this Mimi Andani tyranny. She's been the most criticised housemate Ghana has ever put out into the already controversial reality show. From lies to gossips to half truths, Mimi seemed to have had 'all it took' to take the cake. Perhaps she had a little too much of it. Ms Chemist? Or is it just a title?

Does she know anything about our educational system or was her cluelessness all a part of the act? Hard to tell. At first glance, Mimi comes out as one with an imposing personality. An extremist in certain cases. She speaks her mind and often, that of others. Don't forget also, that her mind didn't always chew on the right things. So as her mouth spoke, it brought out the not so cogent thoughts her mind had come up with. But let's give her a break. This is a typical example of the average Mapouka dancing Ghanaian girl! The average Ghanaian girl, Mimi inclusive, is fully entertained and half-educated. So sue me! I said it. Yes I’ve said it. I do not tell a lie when I say that our ladies have been shortchanged when it comes to education and its effect is beginning to tell on our faces.

Did I hear someone yell 'Girl Child Education'? Tell me what difference is it making in the lives of the young ladies after school? Very few of them get the chance to misrepresent our motherland in a continental reality show, get dumped by her boyfriend, and straight into the arms of a not so bright star by name Cap. Planet! The rest will end up married and become bearers of babies while the husband goes of on his manly duties. The other quarter of the cake end up as professional spinsters or divorcees, because the man couldn't keep up with her intelligence. It's happening all around us.

Don't act like you didn't know.

But Mimi why? Why did you have to go and lie that you're from the 5th best school in the world i.e. Cape Coast University?! Please, great as UCC might be, how can it place 5 in the entire world? On Mimi’s list of top 5 schools, we have Princeton, Yale, UCLA, Stanford and the University of Cape Coast, Ghana. No mention of NYU, or even from the land of our colonial masters, Oxford University, Cambridge etc. Nope. UCC is high up there.

Again, Mimi, if you don't know the duration of a Master's programme in Ghana don't improvise! 3 years for a Masters degree? Maybe Law and even with that. Now you've got the whole Africa believing in a lie. That is, if they even believe you, Miss Little princess from the royal family, you can't do that to us, you just can't! My, we all may have royal blood running through us. The question is how significant is it?
But I’ll say no more. Did anyone hear them say she’s done Ghana proud? No no no no. She surely hasn’t and Ghanaians know this. Maybe she’s done herself proud as against she’s moving into our movie industry. Too much for her!

Welcome back home Mimi. We’re ever so glad you’re back. Had you kept any longer in the house, I might have had to renounce your Ghanaian citizenship. But I guess the damage is repairable.

All that said, I will continue to be your one and only, indefatigable, famosfreddy, the Couch Master!