Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Boooo Baby

For a while now, I've been trying to 'Couch' Ooo Baby. It's been utterly impossible. I couldn’t imagine living through it. And that’s serious, because I pride myself in being very charitable with my patience. Still and all, I decided to be daring; to be bold; to go where no couch has ever gone. And after a week of mental and physical preparation, I willed myself to watch it on GTV and I nearly fell off the couch.
Bright Sunday afternoon, approximately 16.00hrs GMT, famosfreddy sat in the ever-so-famous couch to watch Ooo Baby from start to finish. Daring, I know, but someone has to do it. After those grueling 30 minutes of the show, I had to find some safe place to rest my eyes. Closing them didn't help 'cos instant flashes of the most terrifying 30 minutes of my television life starred back at me. I quickly had to find my "happy place" and transmit all my thoughts to.
Ok, so this time, she was talking about Arranged Marriages with Kofi and Lizzy as her "resource people". How resourceful these people were, you’d have to ask them and probably Juliet herself (or as she calls herself on the show, Yaa Asantewaa).
Usually, when I make up my mind about something, I like to test it out on many people and see what they say. It is not every time my opinion jigsaws with another's so when almost every person I asked said the same thing about Ooo Baby, then I feel almost vindicated!
Everybody kept asking me; "what is that program really about?", "what is it that she talks about?" why do they get up and dance in the middle of a conversation?", "what do they achieve at the end of it all?"
Seriously guys, I'm lost in all of this quite the same as you are. One hour on and I'm still asking myself, "and the moral of the story is..."
Nothing comes up in my coconut of a head. A very strange occurrence my people, especially for famosfreddy, because ordinarily, my brain would be teeming with torrents of thoughts.
First her setting, I believe was in her home. Now I think she's relocated, so the stage has become the unsuspecting environment, on some riverbank, possibly in Ada. Not that the show is going anywhere. Perhaps it’s better off drowning in the river.
Juliet, I think you owe the entire Ghana an explanation. You need to explain to us why only you riverbank buddies seem to enjoy the show, you need to explain to us why we don't understand what the heck you talk about, why the heck you still show up week after week with absolute nothingness and why you subject us to pure torture for 30 strong minutes. In fact on second thought, you owe us an apology for all the harm and grief you've caused us. We won't take this sitting down anymore. We will get up and turn off our television sets if we have to do. Verily verily shall we walk up to you on the street and tell you straight to your face, Ooo Baby is a crassly excuse of TV show, channel your creative genius to something else... oh, well on second thought, you already did - "Secrets". Ahem! Need I say more?
Someone needs to do something about all these tactless TV shows that pop up every now and then. Freddy will entreat you all to stand up for your TV rights!
If they demand our TV license, we shall equally demand better programs on our TVs and more. All in favor say “Aye Aye Captain Couch!”